because the food at bakerzin is very crack. 
and we are already plotting a sequel. 
where p-chan accidentally gets kidnapped by CAPTAIN jin (the infamous pirate who previously… umm, currently is kidnapping princess tsuba-chan ) we’re not sure how that happened, but we will be… eventually. so prease to keep reading 
in order to return admiral takki his whiny son, CAPTAIN jin chases takki to tortuga (YES, this is just for the purpose of having tortuga appear on our map, STFU ) which is somewhere in the pacific ocean, not to be confused with tortughei, 
a neighbouring pirate port at the mouth of the suez canal. many many weird events occur before CAPTAIN jin manages to get rid of p-chan and his hair obsession at tortuga. because, yanno, this is CAPTAIN jin, and if no weird events happened that would be wrong and equal to mr johnny not being old and ecchi.
mr johnny pwns the fangirl part of my mind 
but i’m consoled by the fact that i’m not the only one ne~ and other than the small unimportant fact that mr johnny is very bad for your bank account 
JE is good fangirl crack entertainment ne~ and it’s real and shiny … well, mostly shiny. 
the point, however, is that i kept thinking of JE!crack during 『ｐｉｒａｔｅｓ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｃａｒｉｂｂｅａｎ： ｄｅａｄ ｍａｎ’ｓ ｃｈｅｓｔ』 *bangs head*
demo~ even though p-chan has worn eyeliner *cough cough* it was just too hard trying to imagine him as CAPTAIN pi sparrow ne~ *faints* 
he just wasn’t dropped on the head enough as a kid yo~ but the ning da kept thinking pixkame pixkame pixkame during the kiss between CAPTAIN jack sparrow and elizabeth *bangs head* 
and somehow the whole “jin turner”, “kamelizabeth” and “CAPTAIN pi sparrow” was more believable. i know, i totally FAIL. STFU. 
*cough* otherwise will turner is just too UNBAKA *runs away* … the story is cracky enough for JE!crack though ne~ *falls down* especially the end part where those three baka were fighting for the key *dies laughing* somehow i can so picture that transferred to JE!crack *dies* 
and then OMG the east india company and the governor i blame the crack pirate thing we came up with ages ago for totally overloading my mind with governor-general!ko-chan *dies* i care nothing for the actual fat and wrinkly and ugly governor in 『ＰＯＴＣ』 post here let’s continue it, ne? 
but, in our crack!verse, prease to ditch those white wigs!
CLAMP hurts my brain liekomg SOBAD in so many ways i can’t list seishirou-san is not supposed to look 15! *grabs head* 
it makes me cry. the chubby cheek look is very cute but so WRONG 
because, yanno, seishirou-san doesn’t look like himself any more.
… he’s still blind in his right eye though. damn CLAMP. (he wouldn’t be seishirou-san if he weren’t missing his right eye though ne~ 
) but it’s normal coloured when it’s supposed to be milky and not try to screw fangirl minds over. the cloak is so 『Ｘ』 though so is his habit of standing on top of random streetlights/trees oozing creepiness
and if CLAMP didn’t already totally pwn my soul, i would so hate on them for not letting seishirou-san find subaru-kun already CLAMP, prease to hayaku to draw subaru-kun into the manga (preferably involved in seishirou-san smex UST bloodshed ) … i’m worried about how subaru-kun would look if he did appear though
OMGYEY flashback shinou-heika is shiny and pretty and altogether looks more like wolfie than wolfie’s ancester. the ning da isn’t the only one who finds it strange that wolfie looks so much like shinou-heika, ne? shinou-heika is almost too pretty to be seme! *whacks self* but the daiken is totally teh GHEI *cough* anyone with a fringe like that *cough*
safsd;asfs;sdhfh; shinou-heika & the daiken are liek totally xxx and OOO RLY! *cough* “i’ll work you very hard.”— daiken. liekOMG WHUT?! *cough* tentsmex then at the end the daiken tells shinou-heika he promised to always stay beside shinou-heika and it’s TRUEboiGHEIRABUTM
yuuko is EBIL prolly from constant sake overdose ne~ but watanuki is too fun to torment *cough* seems like everyone (but himawari-chan… prolly ) bullies him mokona is ebil and alcoholic and altogether too yuuko-ish which makes me SAD but the kuro manju is still very cute ne~
doumeki & watanuki are SO MARRIED ne~ *dies* *cough* liek, totally an old married couple… except watanuki is in denial *dies dies dies* it is so not my deluded fangirl mind talking, because WTF this pairing makes me cry from the total lack of teh pretty which is so wrong they’re CLAMP characters. they’re supposed to be pretty and impossibly thin (and angsty and i know i’m being shallow, STFU ) it’s totally not my imagination but yuuko totally thinks watanuki & doumeki are so married she does not fangirl them. RLY. cos that would totally make my head hurt and ebil does have a limit and himawari-chan is not as oblivious as she looks they can go set up a doumekixwatanuki fanclub and make me cry but asdfd; 愛妻 BENTO rabu OMG! *whacks self*
the ning da rabus on the pipe fox CUTE CUTE CUTE the nine-tailed form is so pretty ne~ and the rain spirit whacking watanuki with her umbrella is totally WINNAR
asfsdg MORE PLEASE!
… … … the ning da misses poodlehair!p-chan liek omg WHUT?! *falls down* i can’t believe i’m saying this it makes me cry. 
but p-chan’s current hair (short! black! ) makes me cry worse there is srsly sumfink wrong with my brain. RLY. OMG.
mr johnny, ENGRISH, ko-chan, the ostrick, tsuyo, the fantastipo!armadillo, i’m blaming you.
『透明少年』 rabu the ning da has no idea who is who… and i can’t tell them apart (*cough* they’re all too pretty *cough* 
) but still, rabu rabu rabu chapter 4 is utter crack very furuba!crack what with randomly appearing psycho relatives and all that *whacks self* randomly appearing psycho relatives with split personalities *dies dies dies* and it seems flirt (he does have a name… the ning da just can’t remember it ) and his deputy, the quietaloof!uke type, will be canon… in maybe 253634575684 years YAAAYYYYY! *cough* they’ll be canon when tamakixharuhi is canon *bangs head*
actually ne~ the story on the whole reminds me of 『フルバ〜』 a lot ne~ a very slashy slashy 『フルバ〜』 ne~ the council kaichou is very yuki ne~ *cough* prince-type *cough* and the kyousuke person is practically kyou’s long lost clone (and he gets called kyou too ) and there’s a hatori and a shigure and i guess the split personality relative’s split personality is ayame? *whacks self*
asfsg;hsgfgsfdh; hlkjsag;asdfsd; sgdf the 『Ｏｎｅ』 concert clips DVD from 『ＡＲＡＳＨＩＣ』 srsly pwns the song choice ♥♥♥ aiba-chan & nino are so cute doing their solos and thankfully matsujun’s is only about 0.135235 seconds long it still killed my brain though sho-kun’s looks pretty WTF? no comment on riida’s cos, erm… the ning da doesn’t really like his choice in song… since the first concert ne~ but 21:52 min is NOT enough yo~ more more more~ *paws je!people*
mr johnny, you is an ebil ecchi senile old man da~ now the ning da wants 『Ｏｎｅ』 con DVD even more ne~ but there is NONE yo~ 
uwaa~ en, if gangstaz!koki is any indication of what the boys will look like when bald… the ning da really doesn’t want to know ne~ i think i’ve seen enough bald!johnny’s ebar … besides looking like a chemo patient is close enough ne?